A Milestone Year

When it comes to raising children, there are a handful of milestone birthdays during their first  that stand out to me. The 1st birthday (and smash cake), the 10th birthday (double digits!), the 13th birthday (wow, a teenager), the 16th birthday (driver’s license), the 18th birthday (voting age, college or career bound), and the 21st birthday (finally legal!).

With our two oldest kids being 3 years apart I’m barely recovered from accepting I have a 21 year old and am also planning the celebrations for an 18th birthday. These big milestones we’ve reached with our kids getting older have been quite the dose of reality for me this year. As much as we strive to raise our kids to become independent people, it doesn't make it any easier when they don't need us as much. I still clearly remember being a first time mom of a 2-year-old girl and finding out we'd be having a son. Not just a baby boy, but the first boy born on my husbands side for quite some time. Our soon to be 18 year old son, Jacob, is the last of our Sutton line with the sole responsibility of passing on the family name. Jacob's birth was our most stressful of our three kids. I wrote this in my journal about Jacob's arrival 18 years ago and it still brings the emotions to life even now. :

February 15, 2006 – 

Jacob was born at 11:45am. He weighed 7 lbs 9 oz and was 21 1/2" long. He had the umbilical cord wrapped around his next twice and was not breathing when he was born. After a little oxygen he started crying and everything was ok. We were scheduled to be induced yesterday at 6:15am but I went into labor on my own at 2am and was able to come to the hospital and be put right in a room at 6:15am. They did not give me Pitocin at first but did break my water when I was 6cm dilated. Next they gave me an epidural which worked great for the first hours and once the initial medication wore off I started feeling the contractions again and they hurt bad! I felt pretty much everything up til the said I was 10cm dilated and ready to push. By then it was too late for more medicine. I cried in pain but only had to push for 5-10 min and Jacob came out. Jacob is so beautiful and healthy and I'm ready to take him home.

Jacob is the one who is most like me. Stubbornly independent with a quiet, reflective soul. He keeps his circle of friends tight, like me, and doesn't like to ask for help, also like me. He holds a special place in my heart that only a son can. As someone who loves to help solve problems, it's frustrating when someone you love doesn't express the need for your help very often. I find it comforting to know I'm not alone in the emotions that come with kids becoming adults. I am fortunate to have a circle of women who know just what I am going through, as well as some friends who have already been through it and have shared their experiences with me. There is something precious about being needed by our kids that we don't appreciate until we realize they no longer need us in the same way. Teaching our kids independence is so valuable but a hard thing to see in practice. If you need me I'll be over here taking care of my many animals - at least they still need me (wink, wink).