Are You On A Hill Or In A Valley?

I learned a valuable lesson recently that stuck with me. What started as a three part sermon at church about hills and valleys in our lives really got me thinking about the perspective we choose to take in this journey we call life. I let the concepts sit with me for several weeks before putting my thoughts out there but I hope this can help someone else.

These are three simple thoughts as it relates to the hills and valleys we all go through. I can only suggest you take these into consideration. Let these words simmer for a bit and you may be as impacted as I was when I heard these concepts.   

Thought #1 - While climbing mountains it can be at the expense of relationships.

Have you ever found yourself interacting more with the people you work with rather than family members and non-work friends? I’ve been there. I cringe at the thought that I ever chose work over my spouse or my children but it is my reality and I can’t go back and have a do over. There were times when I felt I had no choice but I know better now and the choice was always mine to make.

I think the biggest realization for me is that most work relationships do not go deep enough to survive once you are no longer in each other’s day to day lives. This was a hard lesson for me to accept when I went through a career change after a very long time. The most painful part of leaving a job for me was the loss of those everyday interactions with people you’ve known for a long time.

Sure you can continue to invest in those relationships, but when you are no longer seeing those work friends regularly it’s more and more challenging to sustain common ground. They often become merely faces on social media and a network on LinkedIn.

I think the biggest eye opener to relationships shifting is when you are on the receiving end of a relationship where you were only valued when you were needed for something. It can be like a knife in the heart when you go through it. The realization of this type of one sided relationship is brutal and it can make you feel like you have been used and tossed aside. But honestly, I have learned to find freedom in it. Let it be a teaching moment, forgive and move on.

Thought #2 - Valleys can lead to loneliness.

What sustains you are the people God has placed in your life. It’s important to reflect back to the first lesson I mentioned in hopes you can ensure you are surrounding yourself with the right people. Be alert to the feeling of loneliness and don’t let it consume you. Taking the first step to connect with someone else can go a long way.

It may be that the feeling of loneliness is strongest when you are in a crowd of people or among your co-workers. That can be a sign that you need to take the step to search out those who are truly in your corner. Who are the ones that reach out to you when you are going through a difficult time? They are the precious friends that know you and care deeply about you. Make sure you are showing them the same care and you will continue to receive encouragement by this simple non-selfish action. Don’t wait to reach out to friends when you need something. Make it a point to stay connected consistently. Two sided relationships are the most rewarding, and in my opinion the only ones needed.

Loneliness is something we can easily find ourselves going through but it’s up to us to find valued connections with other people. A group of like-minded people who offer support and encouragement can go a long way. You can’t sit back and wait for others to approach you however. Jump into a group where you can find support and encouragement.

Thought #3 - Valleys can be bearable with others.

Valleys have a purpose in our lives. The hardest times we go through often give us more appreciation for the life we have been given. The good times are sweeter once you’ve made it through the harder times. I can say from personal experience that God does not waste our valleys.

There may be an instance in your life where a big change is needed so you can adjust your course. Trusting that God will guide your steps and open the doors that lead to better things is all that I need to hear. Like the MercyMe song lyric says “They say it only takes a little faith to move a mountain. Well good thing. A little faith is all I have right now.” Surrounding yourself with the right people can make such a difference. It can be such a small step but one done in faith that God will connect you to people you need in your life.

Take time to step out of your comfort zone and search out whatever type of group you need at any given time. For me this has been a Women’s bible study group at my church. We all have in common that we are mothers and we have a desire to strengthen our relationship with God in partnership with others. We share more among our small group that most of us probably share with long time friends. We have each other’s backs and it goes such a long way to feel that kind of support. Having the proper support in place before you are in a valley is going to help you beyond anything.

No matter what next step you take I hope you will do whatever it takes to make in person interactions a bigger presence in your life than you do social media. There’s no way to find the kind of support behind a screen that can be found with real humans. Now get out there!