In The M•I•D•D•L•E Of It All (entry #1)

Adulting in a “sandwich generation” blog series

August 13, 2024 entry #1

Here I am, a 48 year old “middle aged” mom walking side by side with my middle school daughter through the next three years of changes and challenges. Today was the first day of 6th grade for my sweet girl, Jozie. I’m not oblivious to the fact I’m about a decade older than most of the other moms, but with age comes wisdom, right? Also, having already been through the middle school years with my two older kids reminds me that we can make it through anything.

My older two kids are now college age and the big age gap between them and our youngest child has been a blessing. First time middle school moms really have no idea what’s lying ahead and I hope in some way I am able to help by sharing my experiences with others. There’s going to be some big moments, some hard moments and some moments we would rather forget. Most important is the fact we will experience these moments together.

I am also in the midst of helping my parents more on all the life stuff as they get older. I’m grateful to live close to them as that makes things so much easier. Current life brings a unexpected cancer diagnosis, struggles with memory recall, financial decisions, and all the things. My dad turned 80 years old this past Christmas and it was an awesome milestone to reach. My parents have been married for 54 years and are inseparable. It’s not at all unusual to find them at the same go-to lunch spot on a specific day of the week to keep things feeling as normal and familiar as possible. Some days I can’t even keep up with them.

Both in the case of raising my youngest daughter and walking through life alongside my aging parents, it’s important for me to state that these times will eventually be only a memory. I’m fully aware of the “don’t blink” philosophy. It’s amazing how fast the time passes, but it’s necessary to make an impact on those you love every day. It’s what matters most.

When it comes to these middle school years, I’m trying to remind myself to take in all the good moments while being fully aware of what’s coming. It’s been 37 years since I was in middle school, simply existing in what I consider quite honestly the most miserable time of my life. I don’t plan to  tell my daughter about any of the personal feelings I have about these pre-teen years. Instead I do my best to be excited for all she’s experiencing during these pivotal years.

Growing into my teen years the late 80’s was in no way anything like what it must be like today, but the insecurities, self-doubt, low self-esteem, and everything else still comes around at some point or another. Young girls, in particular, suffer from low self esteem and that lack of confidence saddens me. I was that young girl many years ago. Thankfully I found my voice and my confidence. I see that same confidence in my adult daughter as well.

Today was a good day for both Jozie and I as we started this new chapter. Middle school can impact everyone in its own way and I hope the positive experiences will far outweigh the negative ones. No matter what each day brings, I truly believe that home should a safe place where emotions can be shown that are often disguised in public. Being that safe place is our job as parents. No matter where you are in your parenting journey, always remember you are making a huge impact on the lives of others, there’s no higher calling.