Know Your True Values

We all make decisions every day and while it’s not necessary to do a lot of soul searching for simple decisions, it is important for bigger ones. I’ve learned a lot from experience on this topic more so on the side of ignoring my values to avoid hard decisions rather than standing up for what I believe. It’s not easy to admit when you let things happen when every fiber of your being knows it’s not right.

I’ve let it happen with my family, my work and even with how I let others perceive me as an individual and I’m not proud of it. As I have grown older I have been gaining more and more clarity around the importance of knowing my values and considering them when making big life choices. It matters in the way we show our integrity and how we choose to stand for what is right. When a decision is going to affect future happiness it’s absolutely necessary to consider our values before taking another step.

Instead of choosing to let everyone just see just the highlight reel of our lives, it’s ok to search out people we can be authentic with. We don’t have to go all out with airing all our bad times on social media, but it sure helps to have someone outside of your immediate family to share things with and know that they will keep your struggles in confidence and trust that you’ll do the same for them. Asking the opinions of others and yet knowing you have your own core values to stand behind can make a big difference when life choices seem hard.

As a mom I can say that my children have made choices that I disagreed with but I chose the path of being a supportive mom anyway. I had to accept that my values do not necessarily pass directly onto my kids as they become adults. That’s hard to accept but something we have to put into God’s hands and learn to let go. When it comes to work life and the situations that cross the line where values are considered, there comes a time when stepping back and making hard choices is necessary.

A few thoughts to consider when it comes to knowing your values:

1. Will you be comfortable setting boundaries where necessary when you see a concern before it gets out of hand?

2. Will the situation change if you stand up and speak out? And if it doesn’t, are you ok with that?

3. Will you be satisfied with your life 10 years from now if you choose not to stand up for your values in whatever choice needs to be made?

4. Will the impact you have on others be a positive one because of how you chose to instill your values?

5. Will your heart be at peace based on speaking out or staying quiet when it comes to the situation you are in?

The answer may be different based on different circumstances and situations but that’s really ok. Fine tune your values and how you want to make decisions going forward and you may just find a confidence that you’ve been missing. Keep your focus on the future and know that looking back doesn’t do us any good. Stay the course and stay positive!